This past year has been full of challenges, changes, and choices. Sometimes, in the moment, it seems nearly impossible to know exactly what the best choice is when you are faced with big challenges and big choices. I don't know how many times that I have wished that God would just give me a clear sign on what is best for my family and myself. But, free will makes us responsible for choosing the best choice for ourself. What I have found though, is that God goes with us whichever choice we make as long as we are seeking Him through it, AND He has a plan that is so much greater than we can imagine.
Nearly one year ago, I wrote a blog post about Spring babies and school. I described my concerns about my own Spring baby who was behind in school. In my heart, I wished that I had kept him one more year in preschool. I felt he would be bigger, more confident, and developmentally ready to be more successful if I could go back in time. BUT, we don't have the ability to go back in time, and regretting a decision of the past was not healthy, and certainly didn't change anything. We just needed to work hard. We needed to read more, and we needed to help him gain confidence. He did become a better reader, and memorized a set of Fly Guy books which was basically the only type of book we could find that he enjoyed and would read himself. But ultimately, it was just not enough. We were all heart-broken for him. He hated reading, and he really didn't like school very much despite my best efforts to help him find the best in it and be positive. He barely talked in class, and he would often tell me about his friends that were reading better, running faster, and making their educational goals. What he couldn't verbalize, but I know he felt is that his friends were going ahead while he was falling behind. One more heart-breaking realization was made about my sweet boy. I had a big, big choice to make that would effect his confidence and his future.
This summer, as I was trying to map out our finances for the next year, I realized that it would really be helpful if I could increase my income by at least $500 per month. I honestly did not want to change jobs. I had just finished out a year as a two year old teacher, and I absolutely fell in love with twos. I was planning new fun things. I was confident that the next year would be better because I knew more of what to expect, and I was planning to make changes that would make the kids and myself more successful. I loved my boss, and I valued her investment in me and my students. I was finally comfortable which is a place that am not used to being, and I really enjoyed. LOL - However, family comes before comfort so I had to at least inquire about other opportunities. When I saw a friend post about an assistant position open at my old school, I began to talk to the principal. As I was talking to her, a Kindergarten teacher decided to take another job, and everything just fell in place.
Back to my Spring baby, I still had a decision to make...and now the options had grown. I could keep him in Morrison with his friends that he loved in second grade. I could keep him in 1st grade in Morrison, which is a school district that is home with amazing teachers. I could take him with me put him in second and hope for the best, or put him back in 1st in a new school with a fresh start. To say I agonized about this decision would be an understatement. Ultimately, Ashby and I decided on 1st grade, and when we told him he made decision to go with us. Mainly because it gave him more summer which meant we could take a little family trip.
I hadn't planned it this way. I never imagined that my child who he bright, inquisitive, and an amazing problem solver would EVER need to be retained, but here we were. When I found out that he had Mrs. Bales, the worry faded away because I knew that she was the perfect fit for my boy. He is now eager to read. He talks to me about his days. He tells me what he is learning. He has surpassed his first quarter reading goal with two and a half weeks to spare, and he now LOVES reading....even though he hasn't actually admitted to that. ;) He doesn't feel insecure about being the youngest, and his confidence is growing by leaps and bounds! Added plus, he smiles and high fives me in the hall when he sees me.
Honestly, I am still trying to figure out the ropes of being a kindergarten teacher. I hope and pray that I get in all the content that my little minds need, and that I am the teacher that they need and deserve. However, I have never had a team as supportive and helpful as our kindergarten crew, and I am beyond blessed to be on this journey with them to help guide me through. My new boss is pretty great and supportive as well which is icing on the cake. The success of my May baby alone would have made this decision the right one, but a supportive team is just more than I could have hoped or dreamed. God's plans are so much better than mine. I have no idea why I feel like I need to worry or be anxious when God is always with me, and He always has a plan. I need to work on that!
Maybe you are facing a decision that is big and scary. Maybe you feel like if you make the wrong choice that you will mess everything up. Please trust God, and save yourself the worry. As long as you take Him with you then everything will work out better than any plan that you could imagine. His plans are so much greater than our own!
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