I absolutely love that I belong to a church that challenges me and prepares me for greater things. This weekend, my pastors spoke about bitterness. I've blogged about this very topic myself, and it is probably one of my strongest struggles in life. I may not appear to be a bitter person, I sure hope not anyway! However, I have very strong feelings about injustice and mistreatment of others eats me up inside. I will not go into all that, but it is where my bitterness stems. I feel that my kind heart, and love for the underdog is a vital part of who God wants me to be.
You see what I did there? I justified my bitterness. I am bitter because others were cruel, unkind, and made me this way. (Sarcasm!) I am bitter because my enemy (not a person) wants to stop me from having the relationship with God that I desire. (Truth!) Everyone on this Earth has a "reason" to be bitter. And many have very justifiable reasons. I'm pretty sure that Jesus should be the most bitter of all, right? I mean, people were trying to kill Him before He had a chance to live. No one could even be bothered to make room for his laboring mother for His birth! He was brought into this world surrounded my animals, hay, and probably lots of manure. He lived a life full of integrity and void of sin. He watched as people mocked Him, ridiculed Him, and beat Him. Yet, on the cross as He died for the sins of those same people and people for the rest of existence of the world, He pleaded with God on their behalf (on our behalf). "And Jesus said, forgive them; for they know not what they do..." Luke 23:34. There is no way that I have been wronged more than Christ, and no way that you have either. He loved those who were unlovable, and He STILL does.
Yes, my bitterness is justified, and yours probably is too...BUT I believe that it is God's desire that instead of justifying all the bitter, that we feed our souls with the truth of His love and forgiveness, and free our hearts of all that heavy bitterness to make room for the love that actually has a place in our hearts. That is my goal as I go into this Christmas and the years to come.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Saturday, October 6, 2018
God's Plan is Better than We Could Ever Dream
This past year has been full of challenges, changes, and choices. Sometimes, in the moment, it seems nearly impossible to know exactly what the best choice is when you are faced with big challenges and big choices. I don't know how many times that I have wished that God would just give me a clear sign on what is best for my family and myself. But, free will makes us responsible for choosing the best choice for ourself. What I have found though, is that God goes with us whichever choice we make as long as we are seeking Him through it, AND He has a plan that is so much greater than we can imagine.
Nearly one year ago, I wrote a blog post about Spring babies and school. I described my concerns about my own Spring baby who was behind in school. In my heart, I wished that I had kept him one more year in preschool. I felt he would be bigger, more confident, and developmentally ready to be more successful if I could go back in time. BUT, we don't have the ability to go back in time, and regretting a decision of the past was not healthy, and certainly didn't change anything. We just needed to work hard. We needed to read more, and we needed to help him gain confidence. He did become a better reader, and memorized a set of Fly Guy books which was basically the only type of book we could find that he enjoyed and would read himself. But ultimately, it was just not enough. We were all heart-broken for him. He hated reading, and he really didn't like school very much despite my best efforts to help him find the best in it and be positive. He barely talked in class, and he would often tell me about his friends that were reading better, running faster, and making their educational goals. What he couldn't verbalize, but I know he felt is that his friends were going ahead while he was falling behind. One more heart-breaking realization was made about my sweet boy. I had a big, big choice to make that would effect his confidence and his future.
This summer, as I was trying to map out our finances for the next year, I realized that it would really be helpful if I could increase my income by at least $500 per month. I honestly did not want to change jobs. I had just finished out a year as a two year old teacher, and I absolutely fell in love with twos. I was planning new fun things. I was confident that the next year would be better because I knew more of what to expect, and I was planning to make changes that would make the kids and myself more successful. I loved my boss, and I valued her investment in me and my students. I was finally comfortable which is a place that am not used to being, and I really enjoyed. LOL - However, family comes before comfort so I had to at least inquire about other opportunities. When I saw a friend post about an assistant position open at my old school, I began to talk to the principal. As I was talking to her, a Kindergarten teacher decided to take another job, and everything just fell in place.
Back to my Spring baby, I still had a decision to make...and now the options had grown. I could keep him in Morrison with his friends that he loved in second grade. I could keep him in 1st grade in Morrison, which is a school district that is home with amazing teachers. I could take him with me put him in second and hope for the best, or put him back in 1st in a new school with a fresh start. To say I agonized about this decision would be an understatement. Ultimately, Ashby and I decided on 1st grade, and when we told him he made decision to go with us. Mainly because it gave him more summer which meant we could take a little family trip.
I hadn't planned it this way. I never imagined that my child who he bright, inquisitive, and an amazing problem solver would EVER need to be retained, but here we were. When I found out that he had Mrs. Bales, the worry faded away because I knew that she was the perfect fit for my boy. He is now eager to read. He talks to me about his days. He tells me what he is learning. He has surpassed his first quarter reading goal with two and a half weeks to spare, and he now LOVES reading....even though he hasn't actually admitted to that. ;) He doesn't feel insecure about being the youngest, and his confidence is growing by leaps and bounds! Added plus, he smiles and high fives me in the hall when he sees me.
Honestly, I am still trying to figure out the ropes of being a kindergarten teacher. I hope and pray that I get in all the content that my little minds need, and that I am the teacher that they need and deserve. However, I have never had a team as supportive and helpful as our kindergarten crew, and I am beyond blessed to be on this journey with them to help guide me through. My new boss is pretty great and supportive as well which is icing on the cake. The success of my May baby alone would have made this decision the right one, but a supportive team is just more than I could have hoped or dreamed. God's plans are so much better than mine. I have no idea why I feel like I need to worry or be anxious when God is always with me, and He always has a plan. I need to work on that!
Maybe you are facing a decision that is big and scary. Maybe you feel like if you make the wrong choice that you will mess everything up. Please trust God, and save yourself the worry. As long as you take Him with you then everything will work out better than any plan that you could imagine. His plans are so much greater than our own!
Nearly one year ago, I wrote a blog post about Spring babies and school. I described my concerns about my own Spring baby who was behind in school. In my heart, I wished that I had kept him one more year in preschool. I felt he would be bigger, more confident, and developmentally ready to be more successful if I could go back in time. BUT, we don't have the ability to go back in time, and regretting a decision of the past was not healthy, and certainly didn't change anything. We just needed to work hard. We needed to read more, and we needed to help him gain confidence. He did become a better reader, and memorized a set of Fly Guy books which was basically the only type of book we could find that he enjoyed and would read himself. But ultimately, it was just not enough. We were all heart-broken for him. He hated reading, and he really didn't like school very much despite my best efforts to help him find the best in it and be positive. He barely talked in class, and he would often tell me about his friends that were reading better, running faster, and making their educational goals. What he couldn't verbalize, but I know he felt is that his friends were going ahead while he was falling behind. One more heart-breaking realization was made about my sweet boy. I had a big, big choice to make that would effect his confidence and his future.
This summer, as I was trying to map out our finances for the next year, I realized that it would really be helpful if I could increase my income by at least $500 per month. I honestly did not want to change jobs. I had just finished out a year as a two year old teacher, and I absolutely fell in love with twos. I was planning new fun things. I was confident that the next year would be better because I knew more of what to expect, and I was planning to make changes that would make the kids and myself more successful. I loved my boss, and I valued her investment in me and my students. I was finally comfortable which is a place that am not used to being, and I really enjoyed. LOL - However, family comes before comfort so I had to at least inquire about other opportunities. When I saw a friend post about an assistant position open at my old school, I began to talk to the principal. As I was talking to her, a Kindergarten teacher decided to take another job, and everything just fell in place.
Back to my Spring baby, I still had a decision to make...and now the options had grown. I could keep him in Morrison with his friends that he loved in second grade. I could keep him in 1st grade in Morrison, which is a school district that is home with amazing teachers. I could take him with me put him in second and hope for the best, or put him back in 1st in a new school with a fresh start. To say I agonized about this decision would be an understatement. Ultimately, Ashby and I decided on 1st grade, and when we told him he made decision to go with us. Mainly because it gave him more summer which meant we could take a little family trip.
I hadn't planned it this way. I never imagined that my child who he bright, inquisitive, and an amazing problem solver would EVER need to be retained, but here we were. When I found out that he had Mrs. Bales, the worry faded away because I knew that she was the perfect fit for my boy. He is now eager to read. He talks to me about his days. He tells me what he is learning. He has surpassed his first quarter reading goal with two and a half weeks to spare, and he now LOVES reading....even though he hasn't actually admitted to that. ;) He doesn't feel insecure about being the youngest, and his confidence is growing by leaps and bounds! Added plus, he smiles and high fives me in the hall when he sees me.
Honestly, I am still trying to figure out the ropes of being a kindergarten teacher. I hope and pray that I get in all the content that my little minds need, and that I am the teacher that they need and deserve. However, I have never had a team as supportive and helpful as our kindergarten crew, and I am beyond blessed to be on this journey with them to help guide me through. My new boss is pretty great and supportive as well which is icing on the cake. The success of my May baby alone would have made this decision the right one, but a supportive team is just more than I could have hoped or dreamed. God's plans are so much better than mine. I have no idea why I feel like I need to worry or be anxious when God is always with me, and He always has a plan. I need to work on that!
Maybe you are facing a decision that is big and scary. Maybe you feel like if you make the wrong choice that you will mess everything up. Please trust God, and save yourself the worry. As long as you take Him with you then everything will work out better than any plan that you could imagine. His plans are so much greater than our own!
Thursday, February 22, 2018
Look Up
Look Up
Life is happening around us
every second of the day
But do we really see it
in a truly meaningful way?
Look up from technology
for technology is good,
But only if we remember to focus
on the things that we really should
When your kid said look at me
did you really pay attention?
Did you notice that besides his moves
He is maturing and on a mission?
Did you giggle or belly laugh
when your child did something funny,
or were you busy
in pursuit of making money?
Did you notice the glimmer in their eye?
When they reached the sink to wash
Remember times of clumsy holding them
because that sink was once so high?
How did you feel as she crawled up in your lap?
You were busy with that email,
But she rested her head on you chest and patted your back
What if its her last time to do that?
Do we answer all those questions
As we try to finish the bedtime book?
We can almost see their brains growing,
If we take the time to look
Life is often in hurry,
But take time to slow down too
Because they are growing fast
Childhood won't slow down for you!
Look Up
And see your spouse
Look Up
And see your friends
Look Up to see your Father
To find the joy within!
Kara Kirkendall
2/22/18
Life is happening around us
every second of the day
But do we really see it
in a truly meaningful way?
Look up from technology
for technology is good,
But only if we remember to focus
on the things that we really should
When your kid said look at me
did you really pay attention?
Did you notice that besides his moves
He is maturing and on a mission?
Did you giggle or belly laugh
when your child did something funny,
or were you busy
in pursuit of making money?
Did you notice the glimmer in their eye?
When they reached the sink to wash
Remember times of clumsy holding them
because that sink was once so high?
How did you feel as she crawled up in your lap?
You were busy with that email,
But she rested her head on you chest and patted your back
What if its her last time to do that?
Do we answer all those questions
As we try to finish the bedtime book?
We can almost see their brains growing,
If we take the time to look
Life is often in hurry,
But take time to slow down too
Because they are growing fast
Childhood won't slow down for you!
Look Up
And see your spouse
Look Up
And see your friends
Look Up to see your Father
To find the joy within!
Kara Kirkendall
2/22/18
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