Overanalyzing vs drawing near to God

A few weeks ago, I walked into a room in which two people who I respect and value were talking negative about someone else. So naturally, due to my self-doubt, insecurity, and anxiety...I have spent the last few weeks overanalyzing their words and assuming they were about me. This has caused me a lot of extra anxiety, and has made me doubt myself even more. I have no way to know that they were talking about me, and honestly their opinions of me shouldn't matter...but it is so hard for my rational brain to win this argument with my irrational self talk. The worst part of all this is that as annoying as it is to feel judged, it is even more annoying that I can't honestly distinguish between a rational thought or a prideful assumption that I was the center of their conversation.  Ha! Welcome to the crazy that is anxiety.

Today as I was serving in LifeKids, the lesson was about drawing closer to God. It got me thinking a lot about my situation. Why do I care so much about what these people think about me. The harsh truth of it is that I am not drawing as close to God as I should be. I am doing my devotion, and praying, but I am allowing my thoughts to be on things of this world instead of focusing and pursuing God with my whole heart. When I focus on Heavenly things, then my thoughts won't be consumed by what this world thinks of me. Furthermore, I will realize that my actions and contributions to His kingdom far outweigh any amount of superficial friendships or worldly approval.

So what does it look like in my life to draw closer to God. I believe that for me, it means seeking him each time that insecurities sneak in. It means asking him to give me wisdom, patience, guidance, creativity, and joy throughout my day. It means looking deeper into his word to find truth and encouragement. But most of all, it means placing more value on what HE thinks of me then what anyone else in this world thinks about me.

This is not something that happens overnight. I will work to draw closer to God until the day I see HIS face. I might take some steps back, but my prayer is that there will be more steps forward. The good news is that God loves us, and wants us to be close to Him. He never moves away from us. He is never changing and is the definition of love. I just love how when we actively seek God that He helps makes all the muddy muck of life clear. My prayer is that my insight helps someone else who struggles with this, and I hope that you might say a prayer for me in my journey as well.

James 4:8 (KJV)

"Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you..."